On the Eve of the day before the Eve of the Eve of the New Year 2012

Crap. That's it, crap. I feel like crap, I look like crap. I am stressed and worried and freaked out about so many things, that even the vacation my husband is "planning" (we will see how well he does that!) does not sound fun right now. I don't know what adrenalin overload is-I don't even think I have any adrenalin in my body any more.

I miss my dog sooo much. We put him down in August, and I can't seem to get over it. Today the butcher was here-one less cow to feed and talk to.

Miss my daughter, miss my husband. Sometimes I am so tired of my life. It is too difficult, even in comparison with how difficult it has always been.

I know a lot of my feelings are because I have been eating like crap, not getting enough fresh air and exercise, not to mention sunshine. I am really very logical and pragmatic inside my head, but, really? How long do I have to feel like this? I just want to get excited about something.

Work is piling up on my desk-purchase orders I need to fill, invoices to send, bills to pay, payroll to complete. When the hell will that company that owes our company EVER pay us? Aaargh.

Glad to know that not many people read my blogs.

Anyhow, I hereby resolve to eat better (throw out all the crap in the house), get the Wii hooked up, and start getting exercise and fresh air. Gotta start somewhere, right?